If a programming language is a boat…

By Tony

Turing

Turing would definitely be a kayak (thank you for comments).
It’s small. It’s human powered. It’s often used as a beginner “boat”. And it’s also very Canadian.
Turing programming language as a canoe

Original photo by naokomc

Java

Java is a cargo ship. It’s very bulky.
It’s very enterprise~y. Though it can also carry a lot of weight. Will carry a project, but not very fun to drive.
Java programming language as a cargo ship

Original photo by cfarivar

Perl

Perl is a tugboat. Powerful enough to tug Java around, in 80 characters or less.
Perl programming language as a tugboat

Original photo by xeeliz

Ruby

Ruby is difficult to describe. It’s sleek, sexy, and very fun to drive. Here’s a picture. Very trendy.
Ruby programming language as a speed boat

Original photo by Tony Falcon

PHP

PHP is a bamboo raft. A series of hacks held together by string. Still keeps afloat though.
PHP programming language as a raft

Original photo by permanently scatterbrained

C

C is a nuclear submarine.
The instructions are probably in a foreign language, but all of the hardware itself is optimized for performance.
C programming language as a nuclear submarine